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An Embarrassment of Wisconsin Proportions

As a Wisconsin resident, I'm too altogether familiar with being embarrassed by my local politicians. Whether it's lame-duck governor Scott Walker being entirely confused at how a Venn Diagram works,voting out the only person who was smart enough and had enough courage to vote against the Patriot Act TWICE, Senator Ron Johnson transforming from anti-Putin to Putin water-carrier after spending his 2018 Fourth of July holiday in Russia, or Mark Pocan endorsing Pelosi-backed Joe Kennedy III and being genuinely confused as to why progressives became upset at that, it seems like every time I look up I'm embarrassed by something concerning Wisconsin politics. What an unpleasant finding to see that Christmas-time during an extremely deadly pandemic is no difference.


Enter state representatives Paul Tittl, R-Manitowoc, and Shae Sortwell, R-Two Rivers, who have placed a second unauthorized Christmas tree in the Wisconsin Capitol rotunda. If you missed the drama of the first unauthorized and subsequent removal of the tree, I'm jealous. It's a dumb saga that saw Governor Evers explain thoughtfully and convincingly why he didn't approve the traditional Christmas tree in the Capitol rotunda. After House Republicans thew the typical fit of entitlement that they throw when they don't get their way, they put up a Christmas tree that was subsequently removed.


This is by far the hardest the GOP-led legislature has worked since Evers took office and judging by the physiques of Tittl and Sortwell, it is also the most physical labor they've done in quite some time. The "lawmakers", we put airquotes around that term because despite the largest mass-pandemic/unemployment crisis of our lifetime, there's been no legislation signed, or even discussed, in over 10 months. Both lawmakers insist that this is protected by their first amendment rights. I'm happy to hear they'll be supporting my first amendment right of draping that entire Christmas tree in a Black Lives Matter flag. The GOP, the party of rule and order. Except when they don't like the rules. Then they're a party of pouting, cry-baby, fat ass white men wiping the sweat from their brow as the extreme labor of extending their arms to decorate a Christmas tree forces their hairy ass-crack to be broadcast to their dozens of Facebook live-stream watchers. Merry Christmas to everyone except Paul Tittl, Shae Sortwell, and everyone else who aligns themselves with the embarrassment that is the Wisconsin GOP.

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